...this is internet perversity (insert M&S voice-over here)

"In Saudi Arabia, a woman may divorce her husband if he does not keep her supplied with coffee"*
This is all well and good, as long as the coffee is also good :)
Meanwhile, I need a private, personal webmaster, a visit from Eldest, or a course in email set- up and maintenance. Or a different book from the one which hid it's meanings behind simple words and three simple diagrams. Also, I need a map of how our emails are set up.

In order to calm the boiling confusion in my head, I shall attempt to explain, starting from THE END.

In the end, was the failure of Barney's email to function.

In between, mine seems to be proceeding in its usual disorderly fashion (somewhat more smoothly since eldest's last visit).

(You can skip the next part if you like, I'm sure it doesn't make any sense)
In the beginning, we had one computer, a dial-up connection (I'm not going to mention Eldest's computer or his seperate phone line nor any of the things that went with all that) a free email account with Freenetname and we each had an account, one for me and one for the business. At some point, it was decided that the family should have a website (now defunct) and there was something Freenetname wouldn't do so we opened an Eclipse account. To keep things tidy, we changed the email to Eclipse as well.
At some other point (posibly earlier than the change to Eclipse, we decided to have a business website and Eldest trawled through many many web hosting companies and we opened an account with UK2.net. and, if I remember rightly, made an email account to go with the business, also with UK2.net.
Are you with me so far or has your brain glazed over yet?....
We (maybe) now have one email and website provider for the family and another for the business. But what I completely fail to understand is why the outgoing smtp thingie for the business seems to be attached to Eclipse. Of course I also completely fail to understand why suddenly the business (UK2.net and maybe Eclipse as well) email suddenly doesn't work (and before you ask, yes it is plugged in).**
After a frantic yell to Eldest for help and advice I have spent a frantic evening trying to contact UK2.net to ask if they've changed something without telling us... however, they don't seem to recognise our password, and of course, since we can't receive email from that account, we can't have a reminder. I've also scoured the UK2.net knowledge base and have encountered a number of....well, things I might have to do or maybe shouldn't do under any circumstances, depending on the circumstances. See? No? well now you know why I have a mutton head. (boiled) Also a butter brains (churned). Oh and cold feet (draughts and panic).
Wasn't the weather nice today? Tralalalalala....lala }:#

And AAARRGGGH! Blogger's off again. No posting, no commenting, no pictures, no nothing....no saving???? Oh broad and bloggy hell on a b b b b b b webcycle! I shall copy and paste and retire to a well earned bed and hope a horizontal alignment will soothe the raging storms of incomprehension before the inside of my head expands to fit a space larger than is available and I need an extension to house the whole internet and all its concepts.

Have you ever noticed how enormously much larger the space inside your head seems than would appear to be accommodated by the bits round the outside of it?

This morning in the cold light of day and after my brain has stopped heaving like a stormy sea, I recall that we opened the Eclipse account because Frenetname didn't do broadband. This doesn't seem to clarify matters much. Oh and Eldest gave me a wireless router but I really don't think the problem is inside that....this time. I suppose the Eclipse bit in the business email is to do with broadband.

I am seriously considering the man on the market who fixes/helps/sorts and generally understands computers. If he succeeded in helping Dorothy to get herself an email account and use it he ought to be able to explain quantam physics to me!

* (Strong absorbent trivia for the toilet- a truly excellent book)
** and switched on.