Ambushed!!
The kitchen is all hot and steamy (stock cooking, potatoes boiling and casserole in the oven) and I'm still wearing the clothes that haven't been quite warm enough all afternoon in the office. I'm going to end up casseroled myself.
While wandering around town this morning looking wistfully/sourly at beautiful, cosy and much too slender boots I had a nasty shock. Woolworths started talking to me....out loud in the street!! it must have been talking to me because no one else stopped and stared at it in astonished dismay! It rabbited on about christmas offers and horrible stuff like that for a while and then burst into song.
I had a bit of a middle-aged moment and words like decency, outrageous, offensive and ridiculous passed through my mind.
Then I identified the source of the outrage (a speaker fixed to the wall near the ground) and had a rebellious teenager moment and considered wandering over to it and tripping over and inadvertantly kicking it extremely hard.
I'm now working on an action film heroic plan of sneaking into town in the small hours, heavily disguised and pouring acid over it. I want to see if you really get that sizzling steamy shrinking thing they do when you pour holy water on ghosties in horror films.
3 comments:
on the strength of that marvleeous idea, ms b, i'm going to go and link to you. woolworths is EVIL.....
Ah yes, time to dig out that chemistry set and for some homemade sulphuric acid.
With regards to the >slender > boot thing - I spent part of Saturday trying on the damn things: you know when the shop assistants stand over you just to entertain themselves as they *know* it's not going to go up /do up all the way.
I wondered about an ancient pair of leg warmers with eyeholes cut in them. then I could do a double whammy...terrorist caught on CCTV attacking traditional british institution.
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