So where is it written "thou shalt esteem thyself"?

Oh I'm well in the middle of a self self self event. I so hate them. Times when I look around and think well if I'd done this that or the other properly or better or at all I wouldn't have this problem now. Times when I realise with horror what I've just said or done. Times when it's perfectly clear that I'm never ever going to be the person I think I want to be. Times when I look at myself and really don't like much what I see and see it all too clearly in spite of a rash of excuses and prevarications. Times when everything I hear or see either makes me think 'look at what they have to go through, what am I making such a fuss about' or 'so what have they got to make such a fuss about look what I'm going through'. Times when loving my neighbour as myself is such a bad and inadequate idea. (Just as well they're away).
Times when someone seems to be looking over my shoulder and saying "oh you are such a feeble excuse..."
Times when social ineptness overcomes me and feels like THE MOST ENORMOUS ZIT. (which usually I don't bother about so much though I do get a bit secretive about my poor badly treated toes)
And how is it possible to feel, at the same time, too timid to say anything at all and so much in search of attention that I can blather on for ages after everyone else has gone quiet and glazed with bored embarrassment.
Bah Humbug!

Oh, self esteem. Right. That. Whatever it is.
I have recently read three, no, four, posts which seem to be about that interesting and desirable commodity. All the writers of those posts seem to me to be greatly deserving of it. Besides having written about it and around it interestingly and thoughtfully.

I think it's time to turn my head off. Restart.

Well at least I deleted the first version of this!