Fancy stuff

I have a question for you.
Do clowns wax, shave or electrocute?
What? Oh their eyebrows of course.
You see today we went to a fancy dress party.* And due to the randomness of what was available in the shop** he went as Beetlejuice (?) and I went as Pierrot - at least I've heard of him. Only I didn't realise Pierrot was so definitely a male figure. Not a problem since his outfit could easily conceal the gender of a....very female thing which I can't think of right now. And his make up similarly deprives the made up one of all pretensions to any kind of gender. No wonder he couldn't get the girl***
Anyway, when it came time to get ready, I started to apply white stuff all over my face (like you do) and then attempted to apply black stuff in only the right places to produce a sad but indefinably appealing and slightly mad look. Then, ignoring the result studiously, I added lipstick.
Um more than slightly mad I have to say.
Well I was hampered by the fact that as a non-user of make-up, I have no little lip brushes or eyeshadow sponges. I used a kitchen sponge sliced into smaller and smaller pieces. The lipstick I use has done a fine job (applied so rarely and so thinly as to be almost invisible) for at least fifteen years. Of course it's not waterproof or glossy or booze proof - that's never been a problem before and anyway, when I bought it you couldn't get all those things and colour too!
I decided the patchy appearance caused by sliced sponge application was endearingly um, patchy! And the extra eyebrows were magnificent and of course the original ones were thickly layered with white stuff and while they did itch a bit they felt satisfyingly proof against anything but a rainstorm. Bit like wearing eyebrow armour actually, sort of crispy but flexible.
I did leave quite a lot of lippie on the first ciggie I had but I knew there was plenty left.
We set off and on the way I practised my Pierrot smile (mournful but quirky, see).

Then we arrived and had a drink and I did wonder if the wet feeling meant that bits of white stuff might have dissolved in my drink - too late to do anything about that.
anyway to cut along and slightly dull story to size, some hours later I went to the loo thinking I ought to get a last look at Pierrot before rolling home to wash him off and undress him.

It was a bit sad really. In the course of a single evening, he'd both aged (by about fifty years and he hadn't looked that youthful when he left) and gained an extra pair of eyebrows. His eyes were pink rimmed and endearingly er, patchy had become raddled and blotchy. And he'd acquired an extra mouth where the drinks had washed off his corners. His hat (which had been a bit loose) was dangling over one ear and some of his hair had escaped and was sticking out sideways.

The clothing would still have camouflaged a cow, never mind a woman but it was all in the right places at least. And all I'm going to say about that is that I was grateful! No woman would want to be seen looking like poor old Pierrot looked at that moment and as long as I could pretend I wasn't pretending to be one (How's that again? Never you mind) I could get away with only pretending to be a man. In a floppy white outfit with enormous dangly black pom poms placed to cause as much embarrassment and destruction as one could wish in a crowded party.

Conclusions?
Never go to a party as Pierrot unless you're prepared to forgo all drink and shave your eyebrows off first. (Or should you wax them? Or electrocute them? Or indeed tweeze them).

It was a good party though :)
No Pierrot picture I'm afraid, there wasn't time before we went and afterwards I was in a bit of a hurry to wash him off before any wind changed or clocks chimed and left me stuck with him for ever.
Instead, here is Newbury looking slightly apocalypticBut then it seemed the apocalypse was postponed - floods due any minute though.Pierrot is tired now. Goodnight and sleep well :)


*Actually it wasn't, it was a black and white party so we needn't have gone and got fancy dress anyway.
**I don't know what I was going to say here
***Colombine