Moving right along

I didn't really believe we were doing this until I realised I absolutely have to fill in forms and send them off TODAY!
I hate filling in forms.
There's always one question isn't there which is just ambiguous enough that you have to ask some one. Do they answer their phones? No they do not. And isn't it always the question that sems to demand total certainty. Otherwise they'll suspect you of fraud or mental illness or terrorist intent. Definitely. And by the time you've dithered over this for a couple of hours (days? Years?) (and last post date approaches) you're no longer convinced that you are blameless and honest and English and didn't do it. Whatever it is they might think you were trying to do which is, of course, so far outside your sphere of experience that you have no idea what it might be anyway.
The other thing I hate about forms is the important ones still seem to have to be done by hand. With a black biro. (Why is it always the black biros that stop working halfway through every form?).
I cannot fill in a form without making at least one blurb. Scribble. Rewrite in a vanishing amount of space which wasn't big enough anyway.
Actually I can't write anything, even a note to myself without a fair spattering of crossings out and little arrows and *s and the odd doodle when I got bored with trying to concentrate long enough to write a whole sentence slowly enough to get all the words right!
(And signing the back of a new bank card is a nightmare of anxious concentration and never ever looks the same as any of the other ones).
My address? forget it. I did.
My name?.....? umm.
Oddly enough I don't usually have any trouble with my date of birth. 1.12.50, just rolls off the tongue/pen. (as long as I don't have to write the whole year...er that would be umm 1950 would it? Oops, nearly put 2050. Seriously wondered about 1850. Scribble.

And then you have a last look at the instructions and it says...please leave question 8 blank.
Look! If you want me to leave a question blank why the hell do you put it there..why don't you stick a big red sticker on top of it saying "it's ok, you can leave this one out, we'll do it for you".
Well now I'll have to phone them and ask them to send me a new form and I can ask all those other little niggling questions that I wasn't quite sure about.
Hey Ho.#

So, now I have filled in two forms and after I've got the nice people at Kuoni travel to send me another copy of the visa application I can do a third and then stick them in the post and wait with bated breath until I get whatever it is...Oh a visa, then I'll be quite convinced.

We had a plan for our holidays this year. We thought we'd go somewhere abroad, maybe BiL's apartment in France or just some nice cheap little cottage somewhere we haven't been before. Nothing extravagant, just a nice break from being here. Just...now how did this happen, just a safari in KENYA?????

When Barney gets the bit between his teeth he does tend to go overboard. * He just happened to see an ad for a 'cheap' safari holiday in a Sunday glossy** and it preyed on his mind for a bit and then he rang his Dad and said, have you still got that Sunday Glossy and can you cut out the ad with the picture of elephants and lions and it's on the right hand page just after the holidays in Sri Lanka and send it to us. And to me he said, I thought we mght go to Kenya instead of Europe.
Me, I am an obedient wife. Far be it from me to argue about the relative merits. True, we might get eaten by elephants, trampled by tigers and chased across the savannah (?) veldt(?) by man eating mosquitos. We may be terrorised and/or mugged. We might even get to drink something brightly coloured and exotic while watching large foreign animals do muddy splashy things by a water hole in the evening. We might have to balance on safari buses trying to get photos of furry, spotted things in trees. We might even have baboons bouncing up and down on top of us. Perhaps we will have to spend a couple of days splashing about on the beach at Mombasa.
Cor!
I mean how could we think of leaving this
For this
***
Hmm. well perhaps I will be able to manage for a little while :)
I'm sorry, I haven't got any pictures of man eating savannahs or ooh, I so hope for leopards. I absolutely love leopards.


*I like this muddled metaphor.
**No, the ad not the holiday.
***Well not really to this, this is mandu on our sofa. But she's got the look don't you think?
#Maybe everyone else doesn't have this problem? I mean other people say thay hate forms but can any of them really be as incapable as me?