Cleanliness; how close to God can you get?

I am easily distracted...currently I'm supposed to be cooking and see? here I am just doing a quick post.
Earlier, I was considering going to the pub to meet Frangelita and her friends but I thought, Oh must have a shower first...just tidy up here a bit and the next thing I knew I was cleaning a bit of kitchen.
While scrubbing bits of wall and cuboard which haven't seen a scrubby thing since last year, I mused upon those adverts which say "easy clean design". They are all lying, always. If it says it's easy clean, it means there's a flat shiny bit which you can wipe now and then and a million small rebates and corners into which which you can never ever get any kind of cleaning implement and which will reach out hungrily to collect every bit of blood and gravy that you splash around the kitchen in moments of extreme cooking. Sealed with wine and cat hair. (Do you know the Pont-y-Csyllte Aqueduct was mortared with ox blood and sheep hair?* You didn't? Lucky you, now you do).
Well my whole kitchen is easy clean.
Sadly, I didn't encounter God or any godliness, while cleaning the corner of the kitchen (only one corner, I have 12 days before the family party and by then I should have managed to do nearly all the corners)**. I did however meet and dislodge and disturb a number of people who probably thought they were going to be able to retire peacefully where they were until I was distracted by a bit of ageing grease and a few fly droppings. (I guess the average moth is close to retirement age after a year?).

In case you haven't guessed, I am not a houseproud lady. Slattern would describe it better. (What a heavenly word...well, ok not exactly heavenly but so expressive and such a satisfying mouthful. I wish I knew someone, other than me, I could throw it at). But I do enjoy it when I get a sudden urge to clean and tidy and bits of house emerge from under the layers and look cool and ....er, quite a bit tidier.

Dinner is progressing well at the moment , in 15 minute basting/blogging intervals. I have a glass of quite fabulous wine near me (must keep it away from elbows...it was an elbow/wine glass incident which precipitated the kitchen cleaning). The wine is Henshcke's Henry's Seven 2004 Barossa. It is heavenly. I first bought some as a present for my brother of the same name*** and later thought I ought probably to try it myself as it cost an arm (but not any legs so I am still standing). It was a good present. If you want something really special and you're prepared to let it breathe for half an hour and you can spare a small arm just this once, I recommend it. I really don't know anything about wine (I read the blurb in the supermarkets) but I do know what I like.

This next bit may seem like an unwarranted digression. Wait, and if you're arachnophobic, don't look at the next picture.
Some years ago, I was having lunch with a friend and as we chatted, an enormous spider wandered onto the table and began a slow, investigative crossing. She clearly hadn't noticed it but any minute she would..I mean it was HUGE. It seemed incumbent on me to somehow avoid a panic as she was quite pregnant at the time. Pregnant women should possibly avoid phobic panics. I didn't know, but I had a feeling about her.
After some thought and some rather distracted responses in the conversation, I said, tentatively, "How do you feel about spiders?"
Clearly surprised by this non sequiteur, she said "Oh I'm absolutely terrified of them. Why?"
Ah. not good news.
"Well, er, you might want to get up and go away from the table....there's one...." Well I tried.
She screamed and tried to hide in the cooker for a minute or two while I caught the spider and put it out.
I noticed today, that after all Frangelita's friends had left, someone had cleaned the bath. This time of year we don't use the bath much as showers are nicer. Fortunately, this person didn't get washed away (I recently learnt that spiders don't climb up the drain to get in the bath, they fall off the ceiling and if you wash them down the plughole, they drown and further that house spiders don't survive in the garden and worse still, that although they're so light, they don't survive if you throw them out of a first floor window. I am a spidercide...but I didn't mean it honest)

This completely uncleaned windowsill appears to be having a religious experience. (I make no apology for borrowing the phrase, I've been seeing it a lot recently on sunset pictures)

So while I was being cleanly in the kitchen, godliness was going on in the dining room. Typical...I missed the boat again.

*Sorry, I mean wool.
**Oops, have to do the rest of the house too. Hmm.
***No, no, only the obvious bit of the name