I HATE DEADLINES

Not as in a work situation but as in I must do this by 3 oclock if I'm going to have time to get ready for wherever it is I have to go at 3.30. Because these deadlines don't leave me enough empty time in which to do whatever I want.
I still suffer from (or depend on) the childish idea that when I grow up I can do what I like. Except now I am grown up I try and make spaces in a day for that doing. Then childishly I often do bugger all!
Just now I have made a (rather one sided) pact with Barney that I will try and start getting ready for bed at midnight. so I should be in it by 1.00, yes? One day in, yes OK I did it. then I was tired from the 4 am night before so I didn't get up till 10.40 am. Lost a lot of day.
The thing about night was though, after every one else was gone to bed and sleeping the sleep of the just or whatever they were doing, it seemed a little more elastic than a day which has 'go to work', 'feed the dog (before he starves), 'make dinner', 'go out in the evening', 'away for the weekend', written in at intervals. Written in as deadlines. I've accepted that I have to do things I don't want. It's just that I still try to find some time when I can freely do things I do want...or not. Free choice times. with no obvious ends.
Ok I just feel hemmed in. I've set the timer so I know I have to get ready for bed in a minute or ten.
Actually I need two lives. One for work and Barney and stuff like house work and work and meals and ....stuff
And one for me. I tried doing me in the night but actually you do have to sleep occasionally. Two lives and one sleep just doesn't quite add up to one day at a time.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not insomniac...I like sleeping.
the hell with it. Just got time to put a picture in if it all goes smoothly.
It went smoothly. I really have to go now....NOW...if I'm going to make tonight's deadline.
anyone else addicted to staying up at night?